Everything’s Better in Yarn

Luckily, an increasing number of yarn bombers are putting everything in yarn.

By B-Arbeiter

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All Hail Ēostre

This Sunday we gathered to sip tea, saturate orbs, and the make the ritual sacrifice to Ēostre.

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In 9, Patchpunk Tries to Save Us All

Shane Acker uses patchpunk to explore what it means to be human in the dark, machine-worshiping post-apocalyptic world that sets the stage in his 2009 film, ‘9’.

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The Packpunkling Monsters

Among the patchpunklings live the patchpunkling monsters. They are very scary, NOT cute.

Annaboo's House shows you how (no knitting!)

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Kirby’s Epic Yarn

One day Kirby is walking along minding his own business, when a delicious tomato belonging to a sorcerer finds its way into his mouth, and he is suddenly transported to an alternate reality made from yarns and patchwork. Kirby himself becomes made out of yarn, and while he loses his ability to eat anything and everything, he gains the ability to reshape himself into anything and everything (provided it is made of yarn).

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Teddy Bears’ Picnic

Teddy Bears’ Picnic started as a melody called Teddy Bear Two-Step written by John W. Bratton in 1907, it became Teddy Bears’ Picnic in1932 when Jimmy Kennedy added lyrics. It’s often used as marching/parade music, and is actually a ragtime piece.

The original goes like this:

Over the years there have been many pieces of art that have taken up the “Teddy Bears’ Picnic” theme, not all of them for children.

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Everywhere, Watching You

The longer a place is inhabited, the more it becomes saturated with lesser spirits. These lesser spirits form from the creative energies of people, particularly children, who at one point or another re-envision their personal affects as sentient beings. A small awareness awakens in these items. Of course, inanimate objects do not have the physiology required to create noise or movement, but their level of awareness allows them to perceive their surroundings.

And so they spend the entirety of their existence watching you.

Chica and Jo show you how.

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Paperpunk

With all the talk of patches and buttons, it can be easy to forget that there are also cute things made of paper that can rise up to kill you in your sleep.  So as a reminder to be wary of all those origami animals you made during a burst of paper fanaticism that are currently collecting dust on a shelf, I’ve found these paper Patchpunk videos.

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Prepare for the Patchpocalypse

The sock monkeys have long foretold the patchpocalypse, the day when the teddybears and ragdolls will rise up and overthrow their masters. When this happens, anyone who isn’t stitched and stuffed will be un-animated and turned into a toy’s play thing.

Plushmi sees the future

How do you survive this terrifying event?

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Help! I can’t lose this game.

I found this game Patchworkz by Shockwave.  The concept is pretty simple, you have patches in a quilt, and you have to assemble the quilt from the individual patches. But there’s a problem: no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to lose.

First I tried placing the patch somewhere it clearly didn’t go, like on top of another patch. However, not only was I not penalized, but the patch started gently flashing as a friendly notice that I’d put it in the wrong place.

You are rewarded for completing levels with points. You start with something like a million points, and slowly lose them as the clock runs on. I figured to lose, I just had to let it run down to zero. It took about a half hour, I lost patience and had to just let it run down while I did something else entirely.  But as you can see in the pic above, I have zero points, yet there is no big “you lose” or “you’ve run out of time” or “game over” sign hanging over the quilt. It lets me continue  putting it together, points or no.

I just can’t take it anymore. F this game, I’m going to go get eaten in Kirby’s Epic Yarn.